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When The Rain Stops by ~Yneis:iconYneis:



When the rain stops
and the grey blue palette of watercolor,
mist
and wetness that clings to the napes of necks
- hair is trying to drip dry in the moist air -
wraps around our bodies
(some parts touch as I pass you the umbrella, sodden)

We will pick ourselves up
from the unnaturally green ground
lego town
-the water will blaze in our highlights too -
and wipe the backs of dirty denim jeans,
leaving transient bum prints on the floor,
once a fleshy sanctuary from the downpour

We will pick our bags from the field,
cheap color running into the shirts that won't come clean
- a red and blue tie dye without permission -
and tug the rusty steel limbs
of the sodden umbrella,
left to rot in the wet moment past, observe its black canopy
-labelled "rain" -
and walk

When the rain stops,
you and me
baby
will pick up the remnants of our lives
and
walk
on.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconyneis:

Author's Comments

Well I don't know, my poems seem to 'squidgy' lately - hence, I cannot make up my mind as to whether or not I like it...
Though this poem has been placed under 'open' I feel that it does have a structure, or rather I know it does, as I wrote it, only that it needs looking for. For once, however, I hope the meaning isn't shrouded in the mists of uncertainty; it was inspired by a few brief minutes snatched with a friend, standing in the rain, getting wet, even though an umbrella was to hand.

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:iconwookborm:
I really like the first three stanzas, but the switch to the shorter fourth seems strange...

--
"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love." Goethe
:iconyneis:
I suppose, but it was meant to be a "concluding stanza" a break from the tranquility of the rain almost.

--
When life gives you lemons, throw them at the non believers.

"Slugs are just snails that have been mugged by other snails."
:iconwookborm:
okay

--
"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love." Goethe
:iconyneis:
Kay kay ^ ^

--
When life gives you lemons, throw them at the non believers.

"Slugs are just snails that have been mugged by other snails."

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May 2
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