Searching through old, old emails just a minute ago I happened to stumble across this amusing anecdote about state/governmental systems from my...friend, Alvo. Perhaps a more accurate definition is that of an ex-boyfriend who I sometimes wish wasn't an ex. Oh dear, life doesn't seem to be fighting on my side at the moment. Eitherhow! I hope this makes you laugh, as it brought on a horrible fit of giggles in me; for those that have seen me in the grasp of uncontrollable laughter, you will now how ridiculous it is.


SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks
the other, then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell your herd and retire
on the profit.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.

AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other
to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse
why the cow has dropped dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot,
and block the roads, because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

SPANISH CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.

SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You
charge the owners for storing them.

CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 30 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and
arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh!t out of you
and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are
a Democracy.

WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
attractive.

^ ^ A Bientot, Hikari