I think (I hope) you all would appreciate it if I was to let you know that I will be taking a short break, so to speak. I'm still alive, and still here, but don't be concerned if I don't reply to messages quickly, or post anything of great interest.
I just need a bit of time to recover from the loss of something very valued in my life, and generally brood on the subject. You never know, it may well spawn some good work! So I will occasionally be here to spam unsuspecting deviants, but for the remainder of the time (no more than a week) I will be in a state of bizarre grief. Just need to reciprocate with my life theories, as we've had a bit of a falling out. If anyone desperately wants to communicate with the netherworld, put the comment in capital letters. There's no way even I can fail to notice it!
-Owari-

I have been memm-ed.
Though, something tells me that it is an incident from which I will gradually recover. Okay! Basically,the first however many, let's say five, deviants comment on this journal, those will be the deviants whose work will be displayed. From each of those first five's galleries, I shall choose 3 (and only 3) deviations I value above the rest.These 3 pieces of excellence will be displayed here! And at no extra cost.
Also, as I am a gernerous soul, you may also come visit my chocolate factory!
Once the computer and I have reconciled our differences, it should be up and running.
And because I know you are now all wetting yourselves with anticipation, I bid you leave. As I am in dire need of sleep.
Get memming.

I welcome all page watchers and odd chance viewers to take an active part in my current social debate!
Not a debate as such, merely a strong and subsequently stubborn opinion.
The phrase 'just trust me' seems to be - in the society I have experienced from the age where I was able to recognise such a thing as 'a social life'- over used. My opinions could easily be labelled as pessimistic and derogatory, and happily filed away from notice. I have recently realised that I seem to have some uncanny ability to say inappropriate things in the presence of 'tell me what I want to hear' people. I can be horribly socially inept...
Moving on from my personal personality battle, who has ever been exposed to the phrase 'just trust me'. There are, as I see it, a range of two whole responses to this phrase.
A reaction such as mine which may go something like this; "WTF? I've known you for a few months and I am meant to be able to trust you with my iPod?!" Or something developed along those lines. It could easily be explained by obsessive tendencies when it comes to close personal posessions. But when seen from a more psychological perspective, could (not the hypothesis, not a conclusion) represent a general and rapidly growing mistrust in a young society. Lives are rarely as stable as they may have once been deemed to be. It could be because younger people are often educated about and take part first hand in the more painful truths of life, rather than discover them themselves.
The second and final reaction is one of miscalculating trust, without social paranoia. Which I think is a brilliant thing, providing it doesn't stretch to being fooled into most anything. So this second reaction would appear to be the maybe the least self preservative, but the most socially accepting. Surely it is an indicator of an open minded individual?
To be fair, there are many sub catergories within these intial reactions: the religion of a person, if other factors like this influence the type of people they spend time with, their background and ultimately how these shape their own personality.
Is society today encouraging paranoia? Because it seems that we would asume (directed at those in the UK) that the people reacting in the second way are part of a social minority. You simply can't survive in thinking that way. Or could we? Were enough people to genuinely think in this way, it could result in social revolution. Or breed a society of corrupt and manipulative citizens.
Trust me when I say its in your own hands.

Of lives that are lived in complete honesty, no one seems to benefit.
I was brought up on the basis and virtues of honesty being somehting to be prized in a person above all else; over looks, or generousity. Honesty and the truth were keys to a happier place. Everyone around me preached it. Now, I would like to think that I am no preacher, but that I have lived trying to be honest.
In the past 4 years of my life or so (since my secondary school education began) I have not been explicitly honest. To be truthful (yes, the irony kills) I have been the oppostie. Few people are "blessed" with what I really think and feel. I hope to achieve a sense of audience and author connection in my works by being honest, and it is one of the few truthful outlets I have.
Someone told me today, "Peope don't want to hear the truth Emma."
This doesn't just seem immoral, it seem socially unjust. From the efforts myself and other people combined have put in to helping me be honest with people, and learning to trust those around me, people would rather have delicately woven and fantasy rich lies. In some circumstances, I can understand that. But the majority of the time, people need to be exposed to the truth of the matter, whether they like it or not. That's life. There can only be forgiveness if you understand what really went on in the first place. Or did I grow up on the fringes of a deceptive society?
No, I have not been honest in the past. I have said things to comfort and cushion the impact of life on others. Once you dare to place a toe over this undesignated line of "what we want to hear", you receive a hugely negative response. To be fair, I have not always done it politely, or calmly, but it shouldn't change the fact that truth is truth, in whatever gauze. Frankly, I'm done with lying to protect. I am a controversial person. I can be blunt. It's a fault, and one I should curb in order to co exist with other people, but I won't lie for the benefit of others any more.
There's a vast possibilty that I will change my mind as I get older, but that's how I feel at the moment. And people will have to deal with that.

Evil incarnate had ascended from the fiery pits of my wardobe and tagged me. So read on peoples!
1.Full name? Important?

2.Male/Female: FEMME

3. Were you named after anyone?: not as far as I'm aware

4.Does your name mean anything?: energetic in Old English

5.Nickname(s)? : Manfred the magical yellow guitar playing, confetti eating, fringified unicorn

6. What do you think you look like? : Eh, a 15 year old, mildly unstable pyromaniac/poet?

7. Date of Birth? : I'm 15, that's all you need to know

8. Place of birth and current location? : North Hampton, and the Great British Isles!

9. Nationality? : British

10. Star sign?: Capricorn!

11. Chinese Astrology sign: Rooster - why do I know this?

12. Religion?: predominantly Buddhist

13. What's your favourite smell?: apples that have been squished vigorously underfoot mixed with pumpkin insides

14. Political position? : a little bit of anarchy is healthy...

15. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? : Tropicana! ^w^

16.Hair + eye colour? Dark brown hair with 'subtle' copper red and dark red highlights and blue grey eyes

17. Do you look like anyone famous? :There was a British animated childrens' tv series called "William's Wishing Welligntons". I have often been compared to a brown haired minor character. I know.

18. What do you look like? : Been compared to Hinata from Naruto for my hairstyle...

19. Any unusual talents? Umm I can cross my eyes?

20. Righty, lefty or ambidextrous? : Typically a righty, though I can write very slowly with my left

21. Gay, straight, bi or other?: Proudly bi sexual. Widens the gene pool.

22. What do you do for a living: I'm at school. So nups.

23. What do you do for fun? : write, paint, sketch, read, watch films I just know will scare me but watch them anyway, talk to people!

24. Materials to work with? : journal, white A4/A3 paper, HB mechanical pencil, acrylic paints, fine horse hair brush, laptop

25. What kind of material would you like to work with? : Gold leaf

26. Have you met your grandparents? : Yes indeedy.

27. Girlfriend or boyfriend? : No, very much no

28. Crush? : Maybe. That is all.

29. What celebrity would you date if you could? : I wouldn't!

30. Current worries? : exam week, exam week, exam week

31. Favourite online guys/girls? : If this is those people I have never had the pleasure to meet; aillesdors, midnight moon 9490, narutard 94, dead starfish

32. Favourite place to be? : My bed on a Sunday morning.

33. Least favourite place to be? : Crowded places.

34. Burn or tan? : Lightly toasted. XD

35. Ever break a bone? : No. Gladly.

36. Favourite cereal? : Crunchy Nut, for I is a crunchy nutter

37. Person you cry with? : My friend Gary.

38. Any sisters? : Not one.

39. Any brothers? : Just the one! Younger brother.

40. Any pets? : rabbit the size of a small car

41. An illness? : Nothing that's been diagnosed! I do suffer from acid reflux though (look it up)

42. A pager? : What would I do with a pager?

43. A personal phone line? : 999

44. A cell phone? : Yes! Samsung something or other.

45. A visible birthmark? : mole in the corner of my lip, yes, actually on the lip itself

46. Pool or hot tub? : Hot tub. Bubbles.

47. Car? : Under age, so that would be a no.

48. Personality? : reasonably introverted, opinionated, defiant, stubborn, attempts at being creative, what could be called crazy, but I see it as imagination

49. Driving? : When some one else is driving!

50. Clothing style? : comfort, statement, whatever it is that I feel comfortable and relaxed in

51. Room? : Organized chaos

52. What's missing? : A Fender and a tic tac dispenser

53. School? : Both enjoyable and excruciatingly stressful

54. Bed? Covered in stickers from my by-gone years

55. Relationship with your parent(s)? : Good, though trust is currently an issue

56. Do you believe in yourself? : Only when no one else does.

57. Do you believe in love at first sight? : I would like to, though there is limited evidence pointing toward it

58. Consider yourself a good listener? : I can but try my best!

59. Have a future dream you would like to share? : A life as a poet - and one that earns money

60. Get along with your parents? : Yeah, I would say we're close

61. Save your email conversations? : Until they're finished, yes.

62. Pray? : Meditate and free thought

63. Believe in re incarnation? : I see it as a possible theory.

64. Brush your teet twice a day? : Of course! My mum trained as a dental nurse, so I wouldn't be able to escape doing otherwise!

65. Like to talk on the phone? : Defiantly, I can be on the phone to a really good friend for up to an hour and a half. It sounds so stereoypical, but is true.

66.Like to eat? : I have a never ending pit for a stomach, if that works as an answer!

67. Like to exercise? : Yes, actually. Cycling, jogging, football and tag rugby. I would love to learn karate as well.

68. Like to watch sports?: The Olympics are always worth watching.

69.Sing in the car? : Never, too self conscious.

70. What is a dream you have all the time? : You have stumbled across a no answer area.

71. Dream in colour?: Always. Neon makes it way into it too.

72. Do you have nightmares?: Hooray for another no answer area.

73. Sleep with a stuffed animal? : A teddy bear that was given to me at birth

74. What's right next to you? : A copy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, my lucky mascot (bear from Habitat), Stairway to Heaven tabs, pencil case, purse, Hot Fuzz, pink highlighter and a tiara

75. What's on your favourite mug?: Drawings done by Coldplay for charity

76. What's on your mouse pad?: I don't have one...

77. Your favourite flavour of gum? : I went off gum when I had braces for a year, so haven't had any since

78. Your brand of deodourant?: What a random question - Dove.

79. Your dream honeymoon spot? : Iceland (no, not the supermarket, the country)

80. Your dream husband/wife? : Someone I love and can live with, someoe who helps me function

81. What's hiding in your closet?: remnants of a by gone age

82. Under your bed? : Lots of shoe boxes and CDS

83. The name of one of your closest/best friends? I have more than one! Alex, Julia, Lucy, Samantha, Kai

84. Bad time of the day?: Monday mornings. Are hell.

85. Your worst fear(s)? : Yet another I'm anti social and don't want to share questions

86. What's the weather like?: 8 days after snowing, positively summery

87. Favourite time of year?: Autumn

88. Favourite holiday? : Guy Fawkes - bonfires and fireworks and mulled wine

89. Material weakness? : things that are soft and fluffy

90. The weirdest food or drink you like? : Octopus

91. At the top of your 'to do' list?: finish Romeo and Juliet essay for English, hand in physics coursework, post chapter 1 of In the Pursuit of Normality

92. The hardest thing about growing up?: The future.

93. A pet peeve?: People vandalising my work books and personal posessions

94. Your scariest moment?: no comment -though probably nearly getting run over by a mini cooper

95. Your attitude about love?: You have to poke something to see if it's alive. I'm a deep set romantic.

96. The funniest or most desperate thing you've done?: Looking through men's underwear secions and proclaiming that I want the red stripy boxers

97. The worst feeling in the world? : guilt, lonliness, disappointment

98. The best feeling in the world? : feeling accepted

99. Who sent this to you? *midnightmoon9490

100. 5 people to send this to?
*dead starfish
*uchiha tsukiko
*embrace imperfections
*narutard 94
*aillesdors

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Second Tag
* 1. Post these rules.
* 2. Each tagged person must post 8 things about their self on their journal.
* 3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 8 people and post their icons on the same journal.
* 4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
* 5. No tag-backs.

Eight things about mois!
1. I'm an angst ridden poet, constantly striving for perfection
2. I feel sorry for every person I've tagged.
3. I suck at things to say about myself.
4. I absolutely despise it when people claim they know me
5.I'm exceedingly stubborn, to the point of going out of my way to prove a point
6. Starbucks is EVIL!!
7.I'm a tic tac addict
8.I have high hopes. I just hope I fulfill them!